Head Mess

Ok, so we are here!!

I am still exhausted. The flight was long, but could have been a lot worse. The plane was fairly empty so there was a lot of space for Miranda to bounce around in an Be Miri, and she was loud but otherwise very well behaved. We ended up doing laps of the plane with her patting random sleeping people on the head on her way past! Unfortunately, Regina is 6 hours behind the UK, so travelling west made for a very long day. We arrived at 8.30pm ish Saskatchewan time, but it felt like 2.30am. Miri was still awake, poor baby! And since we arrived, she’s been waking up at 5am thinking it’s mid morning and she ought to be fed!

It is also COLD. When we dare mention the fact that it is cold to the locals, they all insist that we haven’t seen anything yet, and that this is nothing. So far it hasn’t yet got below -15C, although lows of -27C are forecasted for Saturday. We are bearing up with very sexy thermals on and Miri looks like a little jelly baby in at least four woolly layers! It’s not too bad, but it is very tiring just existing in it. prof

So, maybe it is just tiredness talking. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed but also frustrated. We have been hanging around at Kave Haz, and at first it was really reassuring that is fairly busy in there. There is a new baker and the pastries we tried were excellent. Asyah is holding up well as the barista and only full time member of staff and seems to be enjoying it, which is great.

However, Ken barely has time to talk to us, which again is just a sign that the place is doing fairly well. It is also a very good reason for him to get me in as a manager, just so he doesn’t have to do everything himself. However, he is being frustratingly non-committal! He is concerned that he won’t be able to pay me – certainly not the salary he originally stated when I applied for the job. The cafe is just not making enough money. This is VERY worrying, not least because I need the salary – much as I want to move over to Canada and I do think I’d enjoy working at Kave Haz, I cannot live off thin air. But moreover, it is very naive of New Boss to expect the place to be making money in under 4 months. Did he not plan for this? Most new businesses do not break even in the first 6 months, and it is rare for anywhere to make an actual profot within the first year.  In a more positive light, he has not said “there is no job for you”, and I do think if that were the case he would have told us before we spent so much on the flights. I don’t think he’s deliberately trying to screw me over, but at the moment it is us taking all the risks, and I am not feeling at all comfortable about this.

We looked around four houses this morning, three rentals and one for sale. Any of them would have suited us well – the houses are so *cute* here. The first, and cheapest we saw looked like a little yellow chapel! But the experience really brought home how little we can plan. Only the little yellow house was remotely affordable on the Kave Haz salary, and only then if I do end up working full time there. Our favourite of the four would be perfect if we had two incomes, so definitely possible if Carl had a job too, but that is a big Unknown at the moment. And we would only be able to buy a house if we sell ours back home, OR if Carl’s voluntary redundancy payout comes through. There are so, so many ifs and buts and maybes that I feel completely at sea tonight. I just wish I had a straight answer about Kave Haz for one thing! At least then we could plan accordingly.

But I do want this sooooo much. I feel like we’ve come so far already: finding the job in the first place, being offered it, then getting the LMO approved, that godawful wait, all the stress, emotional trauma and financial blackhole of selling my cafe back home… it CANNOT all fall through now! It just can’t!

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